An “apology” to my brother “NOBLE” “Paki-staani”

Yes it is true I confess it so
For my destiny was conceived
On the tip of “your” tongue
I know it now and I’ll admit it so
I’m a “Mirpurian
From shit-street no joke!

Some say as ‘You’ lurk in our shadows
That in shit-street “oh bless”
Amidst terraces lumped together
Bedecked with golden gates and plastic lions,
resides a breed
of ‘rats’ and ‘mice’ and ‘incestuous beasts’

But why stop there my invisible ‘friend‘?
When injury demands “your” truth be declared
For you oh ‘Noble ‘Paki-staaani’
Have incurred an insult too bold
That this ‘Mirpurian’ dare feign ‘Ummah‘-love’
Alas in shit-street ‘we’ devour none but our ‘own’

A mansion in Mirpur purchased on the proceeds of hard toil in Britain, not through drugs or illicit activities. These are ‘slurs’ against an entire community.

But we’re ‘wealthy’, you say
Riches and booty, ‘mansions’ and ‘white gals’
All thanks to ‘Mama England’ ‘JSA & Co’
In whose nurseries we sell our ‘maal’ at Her Majesty’s Pleasure
And pimp our child-brides to defray
the passage back to our barren hills PIA-style!

[maal = ‘things‘; street slang, ‘drugs‘]

[Ummah = Muslim Brotherhood/Fraternity]

The 16th century Ramkot Fort as it overlooks the vast waters of the Mangla Dam, Mirpur, Jammu

I understand your pain
And the scars etched onto your fine countenance
For you with ‘Thy’ royal lilt
And only a slight hint of a foreign accent
I offer my sincerest apologies
For “Pakistan”, “Her Crescent” and “Her Lovely Star”

What was I thinking?
That from shit-street I could pretend to be other than “me”,
and to make association with dearest “Thee”?!
Woe upon me and my village ways
As you’re weighed down by foreign aid ‘Jihadis’ aflame,
Dining at the Savoy with begging bowl in tow

I’m so sorry I tarnished your good name
So fellow Brits listen up, “I’m a ‘Mirpurian from shit-street no joke”
I’ve no ‘culture’ no ‘language’ not even ‘roots’ of my own!
My ‘inbred’ cousins, they’re thieves they’re losers, a ‘race’ all of their own
Stop saying “Pakistani”?” “Kashmiri”? I’m “none of the above”!
I’m X and I’ve no box to tick, so welcome to Shit Street

With love, Paharian X “No Box to Tick”

The many derelict factories our parents worked in during decades of hard toil and labour

So why did I write this poem? 

Since so many ‘posh’ British-Pakistanis (mostly deluded ones) hate us ‘Mirpuris’ I decided to put their hatred into a poem to help them out. Twitter and their forums do them no justice – just type in ‘Mirpuri’ in twitter or google and you’ll see what I mean. So, yes, I am fed up of being told by them usually hiding behind their computer screens that ‘my people’ – my ‘parents’, ‘grandparents’, ‘my predecessors’ – the people who put food on my table and worked for a living in the dirtiest of factories in the dingiest of English ‘neighbourhoods’ were somehow ‘less worthy of respect’. Of course we all know that their parents also worked in factories, foundries and textile mills, even if they wore a suit on the way to the Job Centre. But they like to reimagine this shared past in accordance with their new priorities as ‘British-Pakistani Aristocrats’ which they are clearly NOT. And when the racists call them ‘Pakis’, they get upset, their stomachs churning with the insult even as they run away to hide behind some bush.

But they think it’s okay to insult us through the exact prejudices.

Unlike them, I know my roots and I won’t hide my background. I’m proud of it. It reminds me daily of my humble upbringing. I’m from the poor ‘DISINVESTED’ and ‘EXPLOITED’ lands of Pakistan. My simpleton grandparents gave me ‘my’ dignity to walk my own path without chasing the scraps of others. To say my ‘people’ are inherently bad because of their ‘culture’ as my peers remain ‘mute’ is an insult to their memories.

My people are not “self-ghettoizing cousin-shagging Neanderthals” in the words of James Fergusson in his Al-Bretania, My Country; A Journey Through Muslim Britain. My forbears, emaciated and poor had fire in their empty bellies and they redeemed us. So call them evolutionary ‘throwbacks’ for all I care. They never gave up, and I’m here to speak for them even as they were ‘shafted’, again and again and their lands were disinvested and exploited for Pakistan’s energy needs. I don’t need ‘self-hating’ Pakistanis, or a Pakistani flag with all the political ‘fakery’ and ‘mockery’ of Islam’s sacred symbols to know who I am.

I’m Paharian “X” and I’ve no box to tick and I’m just fine with that!

“I offer my sincerest apologies”
“For “Pakistan”, “Her Crescent” and her “lovely Star””

And if you are offended by what I’ve said and you happen to come from the British-Pahari community, then I ask you politely to speak to your Pakistani chumps and tell them to stop insulting us from behind their computer screens. For every action there’s a reaction.

The reality of Pakistan, once considered the 7th most corrupt country on earth speaks for itself. Pakistan-administered-Kashmir is considered a sensitive region and the Pakistani government does not collect or publish similar statistics on account of its rivalry with India. India has accused Pakistan of disinvesting the area.
The hurdled and forgotten masses of Pakistan in the villages, towns and cities of mainstream Pakistan. These images can be seen daily across Pakistan – these are ‘my’ people whatever their ‘identities’.
The poor children of Lahore, where income disparity between the rich and the poor is astronomical – these are my ‘people’.
Pakistani youth shouting slogans against Valentine’s Day, a typical scene in Lahore. In 2013 Pakistan’s media regulator asked television and radio stations to avoid offending religious sentiments and corrupting the nation’s youth in their Valentine’s Day broadcasts. This in the centre of a supposedly ‘highly cultured’ city. These are ‘not’ my people!
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Associate Editor at Portmir Foundation. Born and raised in the UK, on a journey of cultural exploration. Proud British ‘Mirpurian’; the two are not in conflict; want to explore and celebrate my cultural heritage in the UK – grandparents from the high hills of Jammu. Like the others here, I’m not scared to offend my own people for the common good!

Okay, the official bit…

My opinions are not necessarily those of the Portmir Foundation; the Foundation does not do censorship and neither does it endorse my opinions; if you disagree with any us, and you’re from our background, write your own opinion piece and we’ll publish it.


  1. Bo we are in the UK, think about the UK. We got problems here, let them solve their problems, we solve our own problems here and in Azad Kashmir.

    • And you don’t think Mirpur-bashing from fellow Pakistanis is a serious problem in the UK? You think people don’t get influenced by these claims? THEY ABSOLUTELY DO MY FRIEND.

      Quilliam Foundation, that bogus anti-radicalisation ‘scam’ that nearly every British Muslim loathes has written a report on grooming gangs, and just read what they say about ‘Mirpuris’. They go out of their way to identify the perpetrators as ‘Mirpuris’ all on the basis that 60% of British Pakistanis are from Mirpur. Whatever the numbers of Mirpuris in the UK (the number is actually higher), THEIR BACKGROUNDS HAVE NOT BEEN PROVEN TO CONNECT THEM WITH MIRPUR. THERE ARE NO DATA SETS TO PROVE THIS. The idea is based on an impression which suits the moral conscience of British-Pakistanis looking to blame Mirpuris for everything wrong with Pakistan.

      The authors of the report are Pakistanis, I doubt they would mention their own areas. So these attitudes on the part of Pakistanis is a problem for Mirpuris even if some well-placed Mirpuris are ashamed to defend the reputation of their community.

  2. lolol you tell them bruv! These ‘posh’ Pakistanis need to behave themselves ‘hiding behind their computer screens’ lmao.

    Most British Pakis are cool though just the confused ones 🙂

  3. Home truths. True but raw. It’s good someone is shining the torch on a handful of loud and irritating Pakistanis to remind them of their own flaws and self-delusions.


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