An “apology” to my brother “NOBLE” “Paki-staani”
Yes it is true I confess it so
For my destiny was conceived
On the tip of “your” tongue
I know it now and I’ll admit it so
I’m a “Mirpurian”
From shit-street no joke!
Some say as ‘You’ lurk in our shadows
That in shit-street “oh bless”
Amidst terraces lumped together
Bedecked with golden gates and plastic lions,
resides a breed
of ‘rats’ and ‘mice’ and ‘incestuous beasts’
But why stop there my invisible ‘friend‘?
When injury demands “your” truth be declared
For you oh ‘Noble ‘Paki-staaani’
Have incurred an insult too bold
That this ‘Mirpurian’ dare feign ‘Ummah‘-love’
Alas in shit-street ‘we’ devour none but our ‘own’
But we’re ‘wealthy’, you say
Riches and booty, ‘mansions’ and ‘white gals’
All thanks to ‘Mama England’ ‘JSA & Co’
In whose nurseries we sell our ‘maal’ at Her Majesty’s Pleasure
And pimp our child-brides to defray
the passage back to our barren hills PIA-style!
[maal = ‘things‘; street slang, ‘drugs‘]
[Ummah = Muslim Brotherhood/Fraternity]
I understand your pain
And the scars etched onto your fine countenance
For you with ‘Thy’ royal lilt
And only a slight hint of a foreign accent
I offer my sincerest apologies
For “Pakistan”, “Her Crescent” and “Her Lovely Star”
What was I thinking?
That from shit-street I could pretend to be other than “me”,
and to make association with dearest “Thee”?!
Woe upon me and my village ways
As you’re weighed down by foreign aid ‘Jihadis’ aflame,
Dining at the Savoy with begging bowl in tow
I’m so sorry I tarnished your good name
So fellow Brits listen up, “I’m a ‘Mirpurian from shit-street no joke”
I’ve no ‘culture’ no ‘language’ not even ‘roots’ of my own!
My ‘inbred’ cousins, they’re thieves they’re losers, a ‘race’ all of their own
Stop saying “Pakistani”?” “Kashmiri”? I’m “none of the above”!
I’m X and I’ve no box to tick, so welcome to Shit Street
With love, Paharian X “No Box to Tick”
So why did I write this poem?
Since so many ‘posh’ British-Pakistanis (mostly deluded ones) hate us ‘Mirpuris’ I decided to put their hatred into a poem to help them out. Twitter and their forums do them no justice – just type in ‘Mirpuri’ in twitter or google and you’ll see what I mean. So, yes, I am fed up of being told by them usually hiding behind their computer screens that ‘my people’ – my ‘parents’, ‘grandparents’, ‘my predecessors’ – the people who put food on my table and worked for a living in the dirtiest of factories in the dingiest of English ‘neighbourhoods’ were somehow ‘less worthy of respect’. Of course we all know that their parents also worked in factories, foundries and textile mills, even if they wore a suit on the way to the Job Centre. But they like to reimagine this shared past in accordance with their new priorities as ‘British-Pakistani Aristocrats’ which they are clearly NOT. And when the racists call them ‘Pakis’, they get upset, their stomachs churning with the insult even as they run away to hide behind some bush.
But they think it’s okay to insult us through the exact prejudices.
Unlike them, I know my roots and I won’t hide my background. I’m proud of it. It reminds me daily of my humble upbringing. I’m from the poor ‘DISINVESTED’ and ‘EXPLOITED’ lands of Pakistan. My simpleton grandparents gave me ‘my’ dignity to walk my own path without chasing the scraps of others. To say my ‘people’ are inherently bad because of their ‘culture’ as my peers remain ‘mute’ is an insult to their memories.
My people are not “self-ghettoizing cousin-shagging Neanderthals” in the words of James Fergusson in his Al-Bretania, My Country; A Journey Through Muslim Britain. My forbears, emaciated and poor had fire in their empty bellies and they redeemed us. So call them evolutionary ‘throwbacks’ for all I care. They never gave up, and I’m here to speak for them even as they were ‘shafted’, again and again and their lands were disinvested and exploited for Pakistan’s energy needs. I don’t need ‘self-hating’ Pakistanis, or a Pakistani flag with all the political ‘fakery’ and ‘mockery’ of Islam’s sacred symbols to know who I am.
I’m Paharian “X” and I’ve no box to tick and I’m just fine with that!
“I offer my sincerest apologies”
“For “Pakistan”, “Her Crescent” and her “lovely Star””
And if you are offended by what I’ve said and you happen to come from the British-Pahari community, then I ask you politely to speak to your Pakistani chumps and tell them to stop insulting us from behind their computer screens. For every action there’s a reaction.